God is so good.

    So, as I stated in the title of this post, God is so good. He answers prayers! I don't know why that surprises me. Each day I struggle with being unhappy, being in pain, and being very insecure about my appearance (because of my allergic reactions [blistering, rashy skin] that I am constantly having). Because I am such a broken person, I am having to pray every day - multiple times a day - for God to fill me with the Holy Spirit so that I may have His joy, grace, love, patience, endurance, and strength. Today was a wonderful day. I was full of joy. That may be partially because today was an excellent day for my health and skin too. No severe allergic reactions at all, no blisters, and I was even able to snack on a bit of milk chocolate without being too bothered. So good!
    I have also been praying for the Holy Spirit to fill me so that I may be able to be full of His love for these campers. (In case you don't know, I am working at a wonderful camp called Camp Eagle this summer as a photographer). I want to love them like He does, or try to get close to that kind of love anyway. Tonight I was thinking about all of these campers who just arrived tonight and praying for them as I watched them while Debbie and Chris (directors of our camp) were talking to them and introducing them to this year's theme. All of the sudden my attention was drawn to one girl in front, and I thought of her as my daughter. It was the strangest thing. I loved her. I don't know her at all, but I knew that she was wonderful. She may have done terrible things in her life. She may be the brattiest teenager known to man, a girl who sleeps around, disrespects her authorities, but I love her. She is a beautiful creation who is wonderful in God's eyes, and she is free from regret. She is free from being labeled as someone who made certain mistakes, because Jesus has covered those mistakes with his blood through His sacrifice. And to think that God loves her even more than I do is amazing. Crazy, right? God loves us so much - even those of us who know nothing if decency or respect  or integrity. I pray that the Holy Spirit would work here at Camp Eagle in crazy ways. I know that if He can make me love a girl that I have never met or spoken to or know anything about, He can do work through these counselors who are with their campers 15 hours every day that will change the lives of these campers. Does that make sense? He can love these campers with a true love that is forgiving and patient; a love that maybe they have never known. I pray that the Holy Spirit would fill our counselors and staff here, so that all who are here at camp will see who God is, because will work through us and speak His truth through us.
I am so excited. 
Please be praying with me! This generation of young people needs so much prayer.      

Suffering for a Cause

It's difficult to be at peace, have joy, and persevere while having allergic reactions and other gastro-intestinal problems every day. Even after spending hundreds of dollars (more like thousands) of my parents money on therapies and supplements to get me better, which resulted in me initially getting better, I have only returned to my poor health again.

I wondered why. I used to get really frustrated and confused with God because so many of my friends were praying for me to be healed, and I was praying for healing, and I truly believed that God could do it. Maybe I didn't have enouh "faith". Maybe I didn't really have enough faith that He could heal me, and so God was holding back from healing me. When I started to consider the idea that God may not heal me, some people told me "No Catherine! Don't believe those lies. God can heal you, and He WILL." As time went on I kept praying, kept being frustrated, kept crying, and kept feeling guilty for having feelings of sadness and depression about my lame health problems that I refer to as my "suffering". I knew that there were so many worse things that could be happening in my life. I was blessed and provided for in comparison to millions of other people all over the world. Even so, I was bothered greatly by my health. One night while I was crying out to God, I realized that I may not actually get better. What if it as God's will for me to stay sick, at least for now, or maybe even for always. What if I could actually bring God more glory in my life through my sickness? "God, whatever brings you more glory, whatever Your will is for my life right now, bring it on", I told Him.      

  I just know there is a reason for my suffering. I don't know why or how I will better glorify God this way, but I am going to try to live in obedience to Him. God's will be done in my life. I will glorify Him through anything He has for me. I'll try, anyway. I am going to thank Him for my allergies, for my bloated stomach, and for my blistering skin. I may be an unfortunate looking rashy girl with a pregnant belly, but at least I will have a smile on my face and a huge purpose in my life.